She just wanted to be noticed, wanted to be the center of attention, and it didn’t matter what she had to reveal about herself to do so. She consistently used her bipolar disorder, and her ADD to try and gain pity from others. If that didn’t work, she flooded them with a wealth of information about herself, some of which was very awkward for whomever she was trying to impress.
If I were to use 2 words to describe the late Anwyelle in all of her idiosyncrasies, it would have to be Enthusiastically Awkward. There are other words that could be used, gamer chick, math nerd, artistically inclined, but I think that those first two words sum her up rather well.
But I think the reason I pitied her the most is because she was starting to realize things about herself, things she didn’t like. She had told me recently that she had lost all confidence in herself. Because of her weight gain, her hair loss, her unemployment, and being separated from her fiancé, she felt like she had nothing left.
I think she was glad to go, and to tell the truth, I was glad to see her go too. She was lazy, selfish, demanding, spoiled, and she constantly complained about something. She hated the way she dressed, the fact that she didn’t take care of herself, and that she tried to be what others wanted her to be. But if she hadn’t left, if she hadn’t have been who she was I would not have been here today. Yes, the old Anwyelle is dead, and I stand, right here, right now, and in my right mind, a better person because of her. I may have murdered her, I may have been the one she gave her body to, the willpower that took over her mind when she surrendered to me, but she improved me. Because of the way she felt about who she was, I was able to sculpt this body and mind to be better, to improve on her past.
When I came to this planet, I never expected to meet a human like Anwyelle. Even when complaining about how bad she was, she impressed me with her dedication. She never smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol, used any drugs, or even had sex. She truly tried to be virtuous. She loved to help her fellow humans, taking pity on those who were not doing well in their studies. She gave up her own study time to assist her classmates, sometimes even going to their homes to help them.
And when she wasn’t helping others, she was always doing something. Whether she was playing games, designing computerized art, writing poetry, acting in plays, or fixing her Quad, she was always playing with something.
She truly was a unique human, a feminine tomboy, and there were several things that I gained from her. I gained her faith in this all-seeing being she called God, her compassion for living things, her fear of spiders, and her love of games, books, and fantasy. I am glad I chose her, by doing so I am now unique.